Longing

Longing. Merriam Webster defines it as “a strong desire especially for something unattainable”.  Everyone experiences longing at one time or another, sometimes these longings are eventually fulfilled, and other times they are not fulfilled in this life. At this present time, my longing is for a child of my own to hold in my arms. I am not alone, many other women experience this same longing and each month we are reminded that we continue to wait.

As difficult as it is to wait seemingly open endedly for something you want so much; these longings point me to Christ. Only He can truly satisfy. Even 100 children would never by themselves fully satisfy my soul. As I am reminded of what I do not have, I must remember what I do have – I have a Savior who knows me inside and out and loves me more than I can comprehend. He knows what it is to mourn, to rejoice, to love, to lose. He knew every detail of my life (longings included) before the creation of the world. He also knows the reasons these longings are not fulfilled, and if/when they will be fulfilled.

On this side of eternity, I see the knotted underside of a piece of embroidery. He sees the finished piece; how all the knots and threads are woven together to create a thing of beauty.

On this side of eternity I also see God’s faithfulness. I am able to look back over the course of my life and see other longings that have been fulfilled. Longings for marriage and for deep friendships in new cities just to name a couple. He has provided time and time again. He has never before left me, and never will. Of course, just because He fulfilled previous longings does not mean He will fulfill current longings. Either way, He is still good and He is still God.

Only Christ can truly satisfy. Earthly longings are a result of living in a broken world. Fulfillment of earthly longings is but a taste of the day when Christ returns and there will be no more longing. I don’t know what the future holds, if there will be a child or not, but I do know who holds the future, and that is all I need to know.

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