Loving a Friend Well Through Loss

God has truly blessed me with wonderful family and friends. I felt their love in many ways over the past months, since I lost our little baby. I thought I would share some practical ways to love a friend through miscarriage, that are probably applicable to other losses as well. Granted, this list is by no means exhaustive, and what I find to be helpful others may not.

  1. Text, call, message, send a card – basically, let your friend know you care and are there.
  2. Take a meal, even if it is takeout – cooking will be way low on your friend’s priority list for a while, and eating is still important; having something ready to eat will be a huge help.
  3. Let them know they’re not alone – if you’ve had the same loss, let your friend know you’ve been there and offer to be a resource if they have any questions; I found it very helpful to know I wasn’t the only one and to have people who were willing to answer my questions.
  4. Saying I’m sorry is enough. If you don’t know what else to say, there is nothing wrong with “I’m sorry”. I had several friends who said they wished they had something else to say, or something that could take the hurt away, but the only thing they could say was that they were sorry. Sorry was enough, it showed they cared and wanted to be there.
  5. Check-in during the weeks to come. A quick text saying that you’re praying, or asking how they are doing is so appreciated! Everyone is different, but myself and others I have talked to keep missing their babies long after physically everything is back to normal.
  6. Pray! Whether they know you are praying or not, your prayers will be felt 🙂

 

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